Because your guests are five blocks away and you’re still in pajamas

Let’s be real: Sometimes, your idea of prepping for guests involves lighting a candle and praying they don’t open any doors. We’ve all been there. Whether it’s your in-laws calling with a “We’re just around the corner!” or a friend popping by with a “Just wanted to surprise you!”—there’s a level of panic that only a surprise visit can bring.

But guess what? You can fake a Top to Bottom Deluxe Cleaning in under 60 minutes—and we’re gonna show you how to do it without losing your mind (or your clean laundry pile).

Step 1: The “Drop Zone” Trick (10 minutes)

Pick your battleground—aka the main space your guests will actually see. Focus on the entryway, kitchen, living room, and guest bathroom. Everything else? Close the door and consider it emotionally unavailable.

Grab a laundry basket and sweep up all the clutter—mail, shoes, rogue water bottles, kids’ toys, whatever. Toss it in the basket and hide it in a bedroom or closet. Boom. Visual chaos = gone.

Psst: This also works if you’ve been meaning to schedule a One-time or Occasional Cleaning but haven’t gotten around to it yet.

 

Step 2: Swipe, Spray, Shine (15 minutes)

Next up: flat surfaces. No one’s doing a white-glove test, but greasy counters and dusty coffee tables can ruin the vibe.

  • Grab a multipurpose cleaner (or honestly, just some vinegar + water if you’re a DIY diva).

  • Hit the countertops, table tops, bathroom vanity, and any spot that reflects light (hello, mirror smudges).

  • Give faucets and fixtures a quick wipe so they shine and distract from…everything else.

Remember: in the world of St. Louis, Missouri Cleaning, the illusion of clean often starts with what sparkles.

 

Step 3: Floors = Instant Upgrade (10 minutes)

You don’t need to vacuum the whole house—just the paths people will actually walk.

  • Quick sweep or vacuum the entryway, living room rug, and bathroom floor.

  • Spot mop any obvious sticky situations.

  • If you’ve got hardwoods, a microfiber dry mop makes dust disappear like a magician.

Pro tip: when you Google “house cleaning near me,” don’t be surprised when Two Ladies & A Bucket shows up at the top. Just sayin’.

 

Step 4: Guest Bathroom Triage (10 minutes)

This is the place your guests will notice if things are off.

  • Change the hand towel (no one wants to dry their hands on last week’s towel).

  • Refill toilet paper. You don’t want anyone texting you awkwardly from the bathroom.

  • Scrub the toilet bowl (or toss in a fizzy cleaner tablet and let it do the work while you do everything else).

  • Light a candle or spritz some air freshener—make it smell like you’ve got your life together.

Step 5: Final Touches (15 minutes)

Now it’s time for the “fake it ‘til you make it” phase.

  • Dim the lights (low lighting hides a multitude of sins).

  • Light a candle or turn on a diffuser. Scent = clean in people’s brains.

  • Put on background music—something light and chill.

  • Throw a blanket over that weird stain on the couch. Instant Pinterest.

Then? Pour yourself something cold, take a deep breath, and greet your guests like you totally didn’t just clean the whole house in under an hour. You got this.

Real Talk

Let’s be honest—this kind of rush clean-up isn’t sustainable. It’s survival mode. When you’re ready to stop panic-cleaning and start actually enjoying your weekends (or your guests), that’s when you call in the real pros for a Top to Bottom Deluxe Cleaning or some One-time or Occasional Cleaning support.

But until then? Embrace the chaos, fake the sparkle, and don’t let anyone open the hallway closet.